These Shoes Make Fart Noises When I Walk

And here are a couple of other things you can't go another moment without knowing:

No, chlorine does not kill lice. It's amazing the number of hits I've gotten from folks googling that question since I brought it up myself recently. So I consulted on it, and the answer is no.

Well, ok, chlorine actually would kill lice, if you could keep your head submerged in the pool for long enough.

It turns out the answer to the "L" word question of the other day is lesbian. Why the kid considers that such a bad word, I don't know. I'm not sure she's ever heard the word save for when she heard it during the Oklahoma screaming match (which come to think of it, you don't know about yet because I haven't told you about it yet. Suffice it to say for now there was an incident in Oklahoma and the kid says a lof of "F" "S" "B" and "L" words were tossed about). I can only think that the context in which the kid heard the "L" word led her to believe it is a word she should not repeat. Granted, 5 year olds have no business/reason to go around saying it, but it certainly is not up there with the ranks of the "F" "S" and "B" words.

It's going to be a lovely day, I can so tell. Much as yesterday was a lovely day.

Not long after I got to work yesterday, I got a call from the kid's school. Care to take a guess why?

You got it. Her teacher spotted a bug in her hair. Which I found very odd considering I had been checking (not that I ever see anything on my own, anyway), I saw nothing, no bites on her neck or behind her ears, and the kid said she wasn't itching at all. At all. Nor did I see her scratching.

Anyway, I had to pick her up immediately and she cannot go back to school until Monday. Sure, I find this out right AFTER I paid for this week. Interestingly, when I got to the school, I asked them to show me what they saw since I am no good at finding anything, and the director could not find anything to show me. Nothing. That would be, nothing. I told her the kid had just been treated 3 days before and I wasn't even supposed to do it again so soon. Know what she suggested? Hellman's mayonaise.

Ewwwwwww. No. It's icky and stinky, I don't eat it and I'm not putting it in anyone's hair. If I'm going to go through icky and stinky it's going to be with the LiceX which I know works completely in a matter of minutes. (By the way, LiceX, I'm getting some hits from folks googling to find out if you really work, and as you can see here, I am all about telling people that you really DO work and are totally awesome, so how about some free shit, huh?)

Anyway, I picked the kid up and took her over to Peggy's, who confirmed that there was nothing live, but there are a few egg sacs so I will would to treat again, which I planned to do anyway. In Peggy's opinion, since the bug was so visible to the teacher, and not burrowed down and hidden as they usually are, coupled with the fact that there were no more, it's quite likely that it had actually just jumped off another kid and onto her.

I can't wait to call the school and tell them.