Anyone? Come on, someone? Yeah, me neither. I'll explain later.
Wow, what a week. And weekend. Not sure where to start. How about if I just jump in at the end?
A week ago this past Saturday the kid went to stay with Mama for her July week. Notice I said week. A week being 7 days, for as long as I can remember. Thus, I ASSumed that the kid would return this past Saturday.
What's that you say? Well yes, of course I should have known better. Thus I highlighted the ASS in assumed.
I made several calls to Mama on Saturday, getting the voice mail each time, and each time leaving a message inquiring as to what time that day would they be here. Finally, at 9:30 p.m., when I had heard nothing back, I called again. This time, I preceded her number with *67 and blocked mine from showing up on her caller ID.
She answered on the second ring. And let me tell you, she was not a happy camper when she realized it was me. Here's how it went:
Me: (Mama's name)?
Mama: Yes?
Me: Hey, it's Wendy.
Mama: Oh.
Me: So are you guys on your way back? What time do you think you'll be here?
Mama: (snippily) I don't have to have her back until Sunday.
Me: Really? Because a week is 7 days and so she was supposed to be back today.
Mama: No, I don't have to have her back until Sunday. Did you have plans for her tomorrow?
Me: As a matter of fact I do.
Mama: Well you didn't tell me that.
Me: Of course I didn't tell you that. I saw no need. She was supposed to be back today. So what time do you think you will have her back tomorrow, then?
Mama: We'll start down there after church (church? really? You're effing kidding me, right?) and so it should be about 3:00.
Me: Ok, well, I'll be at Six Flags so you will have to drop her off at my mom's. (I just wanted Mama to know she was making the kid miss Six Flags. But remember this part. It comes into play later.)
Care to wager on what time she actually got her back here?
If you said 5:30 p.m. you would be correct.
Now, would you care to further wager on just why she was 2 1/2 hours later than planned? Well, aside from the obvious, that being that she is always later than she says she will be?
What the hell is going on up there that there is STILL a lice problem in that house? According to my friend Peggy, it means someone in the household still has lice. Now I know they are hard to get rid of, believe me, but you keep at it until they're gone. You don't say F it and give up.
That is, if you're normal.
So I actually ended up not going to Six Flags yesterday after all, and instead came up to work for awhile. Mama dropped the kid off at Memaw's and I came not long after to pick her up. You can imagine how happy I was to come in and discover that she'd gotten lice again. Of course I was ready to take her right home and use the magical wonderful LiceX, but Peggy advised that since she was just treated earlier that day, I should wait 2 or 3 days before treating again with different chemicals and drying her hair completely out and possibly burning her scalp.
Frankly, while I appreciate Mama's efforts at trying to treat it, clearly whatever dimestore crap she is using is not working any better than the dimestore crap I tried, and I would rather have just used the LiceX to begin with this time. But then, that's just me - I'm never happy. Or so some would say.
So. Aside from my angst of the new round of lice, I was SO happy to see the kid. A little peace and quiet sometimes is nice, sure, but a week is just too long!
She really seemed happy to see me too when I walked in. She was actually as happy to see me as she always is to see Mama. When I walked in she squealed and hollered and fairly tripped over herself to get to me and give me a hug. I thought she was actually that happy to see me.
But then reality set in.
Kid: Where are we going?
Me: Well, we're going home in a little bit I guess, why?
Kid: (crushed) Home?
Me: Well yes, why, where did you want to go?
Kid: Six Flags
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
Me: Well Sweetie we can't go today, it's going to close in about 15 minutes.
Kid: (tears)
Me: I'm sorry but we can go one day this week after work and school for awhile.
Kid: But I wanted to go today!
Me: I know, but we can't today. So did Mama tell you I was going to take you to Six Flags when you got here or just that I was going to Six Flags today?
Kid: Just that you were going to Six Flags today.
Well WTF? What the flying fuckity fuck fuck? Why in the HELL would Mama tell the kid that?
Ok, I've given you 2 out of the 3 bits of bad news, so how about I leave you with the good news now, and save the humdinger for tomorrow? Since time is running short and all.
Mama recently asked me a question about visitation, saying she had packed away her copy of the orders somewhere. I decided to make her a copy, and also review them and find out what specifically it says about the week long summer visitations, since I was just sure that it spelled out that a week is 7 days. Since Mama was making and issue of it and all.
Well, in fact, it does not spell out that a week is 7 days. But this is because, upon review, nowhere in the final decree does it mention anything about any extended summer visitation at all, aside from her usual every other weekend. The wording was in the temporary custody order, but apparently it is not in the final decree.
Can you believe I never noticed that before?
Yeah, me either.
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