Happy This-is-my-21st-Smoke-Free Day

Brag brag. But I wouldn't want to step on the scale about now.

I am not going to say "Happy Cinco de Mayo" as that is too much like speaking Spanish, and why should I? This is after all America.

Oh all right, I suppose that is a bit much. I'm not so ticked about the illegal immigrant situation that I can't say Happy Cinco de Mayo and if at all possible you bet your ass I'll have a margarita later.

On a note that is not a bit much, however, I noticed the other day that now the severe weather warnings that scroll across the bottom of the tv screen at appropriately stormy times are in both English and Spanish. Pretty soon, everybody else who doesn't speak English but who also does not speak Spanish is going to put their 2 cents in and want to be notified of storms in their native language, and then we won't be able to see the program for all the storm warnings in miscellaneous languages. I'll say it again: L-E-A-R-N to speaka de E-N-G-L-I-S-H. Which of course is no use for me to say because those who I'm talking to can't read that. But don't let's get me started on that tangent.

Argh, what a day, even if it is Friday. Is it 5:00 yet?

Tomorrow is the kid's dance recital. I hadn't received any info as to what time and the place, etc., so I called the dance school yesterday to see. I had to leave a voice mail. The lady calls me back today and acts like I am the worst parent-type ever. "Didn't you get her recital costume?" she asks haughtily. "Yes, of course I did," I haughty right back at her. "Well the information about, and the directions to, the recital were in with the costume, if you bothered to have her try it on."

Oh. Um. Oops. Crap.

But WAIT a minute, how dare she talk to me like that! I'm paying that school how much per month for the kid to take these classes and how ridiculously much did I pay for a little recital costume, and you're going to talk down to me that way for daring to call and ask an (albeit stupid) question?

Hmmmmph. Once this recital is over, the kid's going to get swimming lessons instead. Which conveniently is what she wants anyway. So there, you Bitchy Dance School Lady, you.

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So Mama called last night after the kid was asleep and left a message about how sorry she is that she isn't going to be able to come and get her this weekend (news to me that she was supposed to) but she says now that she's "renting to own" she is having to pay for a septic tank problem and doesn't have the money. Interesting. It's kind of a good thing that something came up since the kid's recital is tomorrow, and since Mama hadn't bothered to mention that getting the kid this weekend was a possibility, I had no opportunity to tell her about the recital. I especially didn't think that this weekend was a possibility what with Mother's Day being next weekend and all. Now, as much as I... well as much as my feelings towards Mama are not all sugar and spice and everything nice - I do have a heart. Believe it or not. I might be willing to drive the kid up there for Mother's Day weekend. Assuming we have the understanding that she will be picked up on Sunday in time for me to get back for bowling and that this is a one-time special Mother's Day thing.

Don't say it. I know. But it's been over 2 months since Mama's managed to get herself down here, and this would be totally for the kid rather than for Mama, believe me. The kid would be heartbroken if she didn't get to see Mama on Mother's Day. But don't worry, I don't intend to bring up the possibility unless and until it becomes clear Mama does not have another way to get here.

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There is a new petition regarding Mercy the Dog and in trying to get new laws enacted. Please please go here to sign the petition. This petition references another horribly abused dog who ultimately had to be put down. I warn you that if you click on the link for Mooie, brace yourself. I couldn't even finish looking at the pictures. Please sign this petition in an effort to see that justice can be done regarding these and future horrific acts of animal torture.

Have a margarita and a great weekend, and enjoy this cute holiday joke Mickey sent me:

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England.

In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York. This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York.

The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as....

Sinko de Mayo.

WHAT!!!! You expected something educational from me!