Things I Heard, Said or Thought on the Way to Work Today

Heard on the traffic report:

...an accident on eastbound I-30 in Grand Prairie, traffic is backed up through Arlington...avoid I-30 if at all possible...

Me:

Oh hell. I'll have to take the long way and go around that. Fuck I'm gonna be late. Oh well, so is half the office.

When did they tear down that old western wear store and build that Maaco there?

I need to either find my QT card or call and have them send me another one. Bet I'd find it if I cleaned out the car or did some laundry.

Oh yeah, I saw that building on fire on the news the other night. Too bad, no more drive-thru beer store.

Will you MOVE IT already? There is the equivalent of 50 car lengths of empty space in front of you, get it in gear, bitch!

ANOTHER fucking school zone?

Well what the HELL kind of time did going around the accident save when I end up sitting in school zones and through 3 cycles of red lights because everybody and their fucking cousin went around, too?

MOVE bitch, it says SCHOOL zone, not STOP zone! And there's still all that empty space ahead of you. I need to get around your ass but there's too much damn traffic. You just wait till we get to the highway, if we ever do. I'll be around your ass so fast...

Is that guy sitting on his front porch watching traffic and drinking a beer at 7:35 in the morning? I do believe he is. And he's nowhere near old enough to be retired, he's probably only in his 20's. Hmm, must be nice. Bet he didn't wake up this early, bet he's still up from last night. He's probably gonna sleep all day. Wish I was still in bed asleep.

You go Ernie Brown! I totally agree. I'll have to put a link to that on my blog today. (Oh, speaking of which, hear. Listen to today's.)

Oh wow, that Starbucks finally opened up! Wish I had time to stop.

All right, finally made to I-30, past the accident. Look out bitch, I'm gettin' around your ass now. Well WTF, why is everybody stopped? The accident was 2 miles back, I don't have time for this shit, MOVE IT. GOOOOOOO!!!!!

(sneeze from the back seat, sounds snot-producing) Bless you, sweetie. Do you need a kleenex? Ok, hold on. Oh, I'm gonna hafta get another purse-pack of those Puffs for the glovebox, these are almost gone. Where did I get those anyway?

Well at least it's not backed up right outside of downtown like it usually is.

It's way too early for a headache. Maybe I just need some coffee. Wish there was a Starbucks in my building. Oh well, at least there's a close parking space.

Well as long as I'm late anyway I may as well sit in the car and put my make-up on.